I did a Nebraska on this trick once…

If I could give an accurate description of draconic energy, I would first venture to ask if you had ever felt what it was truly like to be a wild animal. Then, if you had, imagine that same feeling only if that particular wild animal was a being of sheer power.

Psychic Pokemon trainers can go on and on about their mental connection but it is a rare sort a thing when Dragons and their trainers make an emotional bond.

The first time I experienced it was with my Sceptile, Trejo. There was one battle when we synced. Our emotions were as one. All of that was his was mine and mine was his. Truly, an existential moment for story books, you know.

But I practiced upon it and realized that I could make this connection with many of my Pokemon. Then it happened. That real moment of tapping into pure draconic energy was like a drug of the high caliber. It is a rush unlike anything a person can feel on their own.

“Let’s go Nebraska in this piece!” I shouted. Skyla’s bird Pokemon cawed and flapped around the arena as Shaggy, my freshly evolved Garchomp, barked a little in response to his command.

The whole room shook for a second, and then there was quiet. Shaggy and I were grinning manically. The boy was brimming with draconic energy and the whole of his being was seemingly relaxed yet oozing pure power. Before Skyla could even attempt to make commands, all of her fliers were grounded. The whole gym was a wreck from the blinding movements and violent explosions of devastating power. His aura faded and we both settled into peace. Skyla’s eyes welled and the scene was absolutely silent to my ears. I extend my wanting hand to her. Our eyes met and she stopped her sobbing to hand me my earned gym badge.

The connection a trainer has with his Pokemon, in general, is key to winning Pokemon battles, sure. However, the connection a trainer has with his dragons, and I use the term “dragons” loosely, is something indescribable. It starts off like a drug, something that keeps you high off the ground. Then you find it, the spark. Then all at once, you know all you’ll really need to know. Funny thing is, the only thing you can really say is “Outrage.”

Roster Summary:

Satan (Serperior) – lv 60 Quiet Natured

Shaggy (Garchomp) – lv 56 Quirky Natured

Gus (Swampert) – lv 60 Relaxed Natured

Scraps (Skarmory) – lv 58 Impish Natured

Saggecko (Scrafty) – lv 57 Bold Natured

Troll (Zoroak) – lv 61 Naughty Natured

Who’s that Cameo?!

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Rather than make a straight path to the cave, someone thought it would be cute to make a serpentine road with bridges over a river…a straight river.

Anyway, I cross the river to find some hella dark cave. Awesomely enough, the little dragons with blades on their face were running around so I went on a catching frenzy.

Also, without filling this entry with nonsensical details, I totally impressed my Pokemon with my ability to function in pitch darkness.

I left the cave feeling pretty good, and there I see young Austin, a friend of mine, finishing up a battle with a trainer. He just barely lost the match. It was a sad to see.

“Oy Oy! Baustin!”

“Hey man!”

“I saw that match. You were so close?”

“Really? I thought I got stomped.”

“Naw, you had him on the ropes. Want me to give you some pointers? I got some new Pokemon to check out, anyway.”

“Sure. Let’s do this.”

I completely rearranged my team for this. My Pokemon are a bit too aggressive for training so I opted for my “fluffy” Pokemon.

“Okay, mate. My Chimecho, Goethe, will heal your bros after each match. We are going to 3v3.”

“Gotcha!”

“DO IT!” I kicked out my Pokeball and my Weezing, Sober, sparkled out onto the battle field. At the same time, a Duosion jiggled infront of me.

“Goetha, Heal Pulse.” My chime Pokemon fire a massive beam into the Duosion, recovering it’s strength in mere seconds.

“Okay, LEZ GUU!” Duosion and Sober hovered around each other waiting for orders.

“Duosion, Psywave!”

“Sober, Smokescreen!” The area erupted in an explosion of thick, hot smoke. I could hear Austin coughing.

“Listen, you have to play the eyes and ears of your Pokemon in this kind of situation. I can hear where you and your Pokemon are…so I’ll win this if you don’t make something happen! Sober, use Double Hit!”

“Crap crap crap…”

“Think about it!”

“OH YEAH! WAIT FOR IT TO HIT YOU THEN HIDDEN POWER!” I heard another slap of Sober’s body against Duosion’s jelly, then the smoke warped into a spiral of wind that shot outward, knocking Sober back towards me.

“Good, good. Will-o-wisp, Sober!”

“Psyshock!” The Duosion charged Sober and took the full onslaught of ghostly pyre. It’s eyes were a glow and it released a stong burst of psionic force into my Weezing at close range.

“Good job!”

“I remember that my Duosion is immune to any damage except direct attacks.”

“Very true. I was hoping you’d realize that. Okay, ready for round two?”

“Yip yip!”

“Here comes Sexon Fyre!” My Jolteon hopped about waiting for its opponent.

“Okay, here we go!” Austin’s Pawniard came to the field.

“You think you can keep up? Agility.” Sexon danced circles around the Pawniard.

“Why not add to your frustration, Double Team.” Pawniard was surrounded by my Jolteon and its clones.

“I got this, though. Hold tough, Pawniard.”

“You think so? Double Ki-”

“Sucker Punch!”  Pawniard appeared before the Jolteon and threw a powerful punch with its bladed hand.

“Whatever.” Sexon dodged the strike and landed a solid Double Kick into Pawniard’s face.

“Speed is king. Sexon Fyre is faster that you anticipated. Speed mod attacks won’t work as well. He’s got the speed to dance around that thing and the capabilities to move even faster. How are you going to handle this?”

“crap.”

“Thunderbolt!” Jolteon stopped moving and fired a huge burst of electricity. Pawniard deftly dodged it.

“wait…”

“Try again, Fyre!”

“Charge it!” Pawniard ducked under the blast and went into a violent spin slamming into Jolteon with a powerful Night Slash. Jolteon fell back.

“Every Pokemon has a flaw in its strategy.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Sexon Fyre’s speed means nothing when it comes to launching special attacks.”

“I am starting to understand how to assess my opponents. I get it now. I have to take in all the factors.”

“Good, final round. Ready?”

“Do it.”

“Balls first entry, Derelict!” A Raticate popped from his Pokeball and skittered around.

“Okay! Here it comes! Samurott!”

“No coaching this round. I’m coming at you with full force. Derelict should Super Fang that ho!” Derelict nearly teleported to Samurott with its mouth gaping wide for attack.

“Slash!” Samurott caught the rat attack with its shell sword. The blade sounded like it was taking a lot of stress.

“Thunderbolt!” Derelict erupted in electrical energy that damaged the samurai otter. The blade started to crack.

“Fling it, bro!” Samurott swung the sword toward to ground to drive the rodent off.

“Reversal.” My Raticated caught the ground with its feet used the momentum of the samurai’s swing to launch the Pokemon into the air.

“Damn!”

“End this, Double Edge!” Raticate exploded off the ground and rammed the Samurott in the gut with violent force, knocking it out in the air.

“Aw rats!”

“That’s how the pros do it, Baustin. You’ll beat me one day. I can taste it.” Austin recalled his Pokemon before it hit the ground. Goethe blasted Austin and his Pokeballs with a barrage of Heal Pulses.

“Well, I will work on being more observant and I’ve got to learn more about move pools.”

“It all comes with experience.”

“Yeah. We’ll I am going to go beat this cave. I heard there are axe face dragons in there.”

“Tis true, I  got like 20 of them.”

“Sweet beans!”

The little scamp waved as he ventured into the dark of the cave.

I walked a little further and found..a cave.

I was confused at first but I noticed a light source within so I figured it must be unrelated. I used my Pokedex to reassemble my Unova team and ventured into the cave with all my Pokemon out and ready for battle.

Roster Summary:

Satan (Serperior) – lv 53 Quiet Natured

Shaggy (Gabite) – lv 45 Quirky Natured

Gus (Swampert) – lv 44 Relaxed Natured

Scraps (Skarmory) – lv 44Impish Natured

Saggecko (Scraggy) – lv 38 Bold Natured

Troll (Zoroak) – lv 48 Naughty Natured

Mass Trickery :D

***LAST TIME ON DRAGONBALL Z: Josh’s evil as Hell Pokemon completely destroyed part of a city and mass fainted most of the native Pokemon in a single sweep. He had to lay low for a while so his Pokemon got a pretty nice vacation before finally reaching the Driftveil Gym Leader, Clay W. Bush.***

After I finally completed the stupendous puzzle of lifts that was Clay W. Bush’s gym, I met the mighty Texan head on.

He led with a Krookodile. I led with Troll in the form of my Skarmory.

“Krookodile! Let’s get tough with Bulk Up!”

“Scraps! Assess the situation!” Troll started to scheme up some tactics with Nasty Plot.

“Get in there!” Krookodile charged in, jaws wide.

“Flamethrower!” Troll widened his beak and released a powerful jet of flames into Krookodile’s face at point blank range, knocking it out entirely.

“What? Seismitoad! Use Hydro Pump!”

Troll used its superior acrobatics and agility to dance around the pressurized blasts of water.

“Dark Pulse!” Troll beat its wings once, launching a wave of dark energy into the Seismitoad.

“Drain Punch!”

“Focus Blast!”

The two attacks clashed and Seimitoad fell in the aftermath. Troll, still in Skarmory form cawed loudly as some kind of taunt. Clay was sweating. His Excadrill rose from the battlefield and looked far more confident than its trainer.

“Ok Scraps…stay sharp.” Before any action would be made, Excadrill rocketed into the air and drilled the ceiling of the underground battlefield, dropping rocks everywhere.  Troll dodged but had to break his illusion to focus on where to move.

“You sneaky bastard!”

“Yeah, Troll likes the mind games. But since the cover is blown, might as well unleash the full assault! Flamethrower!” Troll rapidly moved among the still falling rocks, using its illusions to help it blend with the shadows and debris, all the while releasing jets of searing flames at the drill mole. Excadrill used its heaving claws to knock rocks between it and the fires.

“This guy is pretty smart, Troll. Make it a big one, Flamethrower!” Troll got a clear shot and fired a bigger river of fire toward Excadrill. The mole swung its big arm but it got caught on roots.

“WHAT?!” Clay’s voices was remarkably loud and southern.

“Grass Knot. I am full of tricks.” Troll’s flamethrower collided hard with Excadrill and knocked it out in one shot.

Even that short amount of time underground left my eyes unprepared for the daylight when I reached the surface. I released all my Pokemon from their containment and we took a victory stroll from the town.

“Hey, Shaggy, You down to take on the next gym?” My dragon nodded tried to dance out its excitement. To say we all laughed with him would be a lie. We reached the next route around the late afternoon. It must have been a nerd convention that day…because the entire place was crawling with scientists looking to test their battle theories.

Long story short, all of them went back to the drawing board.

Roster Summary:

Satan (Serperior) – lv 50 Quiet Natured

Shaggy (Gabite) – lv 40 Quirky Natured

Gus (Swampert) – lv 40 Relaxed Natured

Scraps (Skarmory) – lv 40 Impish Natured

Saggecko (Scraggy) – lv 35 Bold Natured

Troll (Zoroak) – lv 47 Naughty Natured

Duck Bridge

The battle with Elesa taught me a valuable lesson: My Scraggy has the Moxie ability. Knowing my Scraggy had the Moxie ability taught me another valuable lesson: I have been stalling my training. I decided to head east out of Nimbasa. There was a rumor about some sketchy forest so I decided to train out there. There was nothing sketchy about it. I walked in, wrecked the trainers, found a cool little black fox, caught it, and left. Snaps for Troll!

Westward I traveled and got to a bridge. Now, normally I don’t mind bridges but this one had a huge amount of fecal matter on it. I swished open my PokeDex and found Ducklett to be the inhabitant of this area.

“I guess Scraps and Troll need some practice.” I moved onward, careful to not step in any poo.

Suddenly Ducklett. Thousands of them.

Scraps and Troll popped out of their Pokeballs. Troll took the form of Gus via his illusion ability. Now, I normally don’t just destroy an ecosystem…but these things were primed to dook and I was their target. Troll and Scraps launched Shadow Balls and Air Slashs, blasting the lame ducks out of the path I was trying to sprint. After reaching the other end of the bridge, I was met with a gang of bikers who thought it was super kawaii to battle me. I’ll just summarize it like this. Troll, Satan, and Gus evolved at the same time. It was marvelous.

Now, I didn’t want to challenge the gym right away because I knew that it was a Ground-type Gym. I had to prepare Scraps for this because it was his time to shine. We adventured the town and found a freezer area. I don’t know why such a stupid thing exists in a city but whatever.

“Ok, Scraps. You ready to perfect these new attacks?” Scraps was busy kicking little ice cream Pokemon.

“I guess he likes inflicting harm…now that I think of it…” I released Satan and Troll. Scraps, Satan, and Troll were my most sinister Pokemon.

The three of them came to a huddle and mumbled to each other for a while. I left them to it. I explored around another part of town with Gus, Saggecko, and Shaggy. We found a landing close to some water so I just let them play around and relax.

By the way, nothing is funnier than watching a Gabite try to dance. It was the saddest thing I have ever laughed at in my natural born life. In fact, I just had to take a break to handle the waterfall of tears I still get thinking about his fins flapping around and then getting stuck in the ground while he tried to spin on his back. Haha.

I noticed that there was a lot of smoke coming from the freezer area. It then hit me like a ton of bricks. I still shocked by how fast I ran there.

I’m going to take a shot in the dark to explain this, but here is what appears to have happened:

Troll took the form of a beautiful naked woman and led the workers into the illusion of a brothel. Scraps and Satan pretend to “attack” the whore house causing the workers to use fire to try to stop them. Troll then shifted the illusion to make each worker look like either Scraps or Satan so they all attacked each other. Satan then kicked up an overpowered Leaf Storm spreading the flames into all of the tall grass which forced all the Pokemon to flee. Scraps had already flooded the ground with Spikes and used a sweeping Brave Bird to wipe them all out.

Hidden in all the smoke, I recalled my Pokemon and ran back to the water. By the time the police and fire department showed up, the freezer area was pretty much unsalvageable.

With that, Scraps, Satan, and Troll developed an unbreakable friendship. The amount of joy I saw them experience in their moment of complete evil was disturbing but strangely heartwarming.  My roster for this region was full and they were a riotous force. Clay was in for it.

Roster Summary:

Satan (Serperior) – lv 45 Quiet Natured

Shaggy (Gabite) – lv 40 Quirky Natured

Gus (Swampert) – lv 40 Relaxed Natured

Scraps (Skarmory) – lv 35 Impish Natured

Saggecko (Scraggy) – lv 35 Bold Natured

Troll (Zoroak) – lv 45 Naughty Natured

So much sand…

The sheer volume of sand that covered my body was absolutely ridiculous. All of the scrapes from training and wild Pokemon battles became throbbing pain emitters. We spent a good two days training in the desert wind to get Saggecko up to speed. The little guy had quite a passion for fighting and was constantly trying to prove himself.

When we finally made it past the gates of Nimbasa, I felt like a pile of dirt. My skin was tanned from the intense sun and the thick layer of sand crusted to my skin because of the sweating. I trudged into the Amusement Park where Lady Gaga’s Elesa’s gym was stationed. I kicked the door in and look around at the rollercoaster-esque puzzle.

“Hell no.”

Several years of Gym battles gave me a decent technical knowledge of the transport system. I hotwired it active and ported myself straight to her.

“How did you..”

“You mad? Battle. Go.” I kicked out Saggecko. She retorted with an Emolga.

“What is that? A Pikabat? Saggecko, wreck this trick.” Saggecko samba’d side to side and kept his pants in tight grip.

“Aerial Ace!” The electric rodent did a flip and doved downward at Scraggy with some serious speed. Saggecko rolled past it and rolled onto one of his hands. Continuing the flow of movement, Saggecko brought a nasty heel drop on the Emolga’s neck, dropping it hard to the ground.

“Brute!”

“Skank! Keep the pressure on, Saggy!” He kept with his rolling kicks and used his higher spin kicks to stop Emolga from taking to the air.

“But..”

“LESS TALKY, MORE SANDWICH!” Saggecko finished off the rat with a powerful headbutt. Elesa recalled it and sent out her next fighter, Zebstrika. Saggecko kept his rhythm and charged in for first contact.

“Flame Charge!”

“Rock Tomb that nonsense!” Saggecko cartwheeled and stomped the ground. Rocks jutted upward from the battlefield and pinned Zebstrika where it stood.

“No!”

“Brick Break!” Zebstrika took a pretty solid flip kick to the face before fainting.

“I..uh..”

“BADGE NOW!”  Elesa conceded and handed the badge over. I ported out and walked to the Pokecenter. My bag lept off my back and bounced around on the ground.

“The fu-“

The bag shred open revealing a young Skarmory.

“OH the Egg! Hey buddy!” The Skarmory opened its wings up like it wanted a hug. I obliged but it ended up pecking my ear.

“I am calling you Scraps, you little imp.” It recalled into its capsule and a new teammate was born.

Roster Summary:

Satan (Servine) lv35 - Quiet natured

Shaggy (Gabite) lv35 - Quirky natured

Gus (Marshtomp) lv 34 - Relaxed natured

Scraps (Skarmory) lv1 - Impish natured

Saggecko (Scraggy) lv30 - Bold natured

Insects…

…what a night. I just remember waking up on the footsteps of the gym because there were far too many people walking the streets of Castelia City.

Burgh was just a flamboyant as I had heard but his fatty Crustle was well to Shaggy’s Swords Dance boosted Dual Chop. His Scolipede didn’t stand a chance against a Fire Blast, after Shag busted the flat ground up to trap it in one spot. 

The air was still crisp and warm when Leavanny took the field on Burgh’s side. Gabite was looking rather pleased with his success. In truth, Gus and Satan were wicked tired from the long trip through the woods. And my egg can’t battle yet…though I bet I could kick it hard enough into the opponent..it would count as a Tackle or something I guess. 

Leavanny was embarassingly fast. Shaggy started to get anxious. It little bug used the uplifted chunks of battlefield as additional cover. 

"Razor Leaf!" Volley after volley of edged leaves stormed my Gabite from all sides. 

"Ah, piss. Uhm. Jump!" Shaggy lept high into the air thanks to its "jet-mode" and dodged the leaves. 

"Scorch the earth!" Shaggy drew in a deep breath and released explosive blast of flame into the ground where he once stood. Weakened by his winning Earthquake, the floor erupted in flames and debris. Leavanny instinctively jumpped into the air to avoid the consuming flames.

"Leavanny! Use Struggle Bug!"

"Belay that crap! DRACO METEOR!" Shaggy’s whole body erupted in a brilliant orange glow. The glow rapidly concentrated into its mouth and it fired a high speed energy ball into Leavanny. When the ball made contact, it shattered in to several smaller blasts that all added to the destructive force. Leavanny slammed hard into the burning ground.

"Hell yeah."

"Well, I can see how you became a Frontier Head. Here you go!" I caught the thrown badge and left without any further words. I walked the city for a few hours before I found a PokeCenter. I had just enough energy left to hand the woman my Pokemon, then I remember waking up the next day.

"Sleep well, champ?"

"Uh…Sorry I used you as a pillow."

"I get it a lot."

"…Macen, you tool! You should have woken me up."

"Haha, it was fine. I was sleeping, too. Duddly had a panic attack so I had to bring him in…again."

"I am amazed that thing is so powerful but such a melvin."

"Wouldn’t have him any other way."

"Me neither. You going to make a challenge?"

"Not yet, I have a few more wins before I face you, man."

"Good, because I’m outie 5000!" And with that I collected my Pokemon and sprinted out of the Center and the city.

After leaving Castelia, I managed to get myself stuck in a desert. While wading through the sand, I found a Scraggy beating the paint off of a trash bin with a few sweet capoeira moves. I grinned and readied Gus for battle.

Roster Summary:

Satan (Servine) lv 34 - Quiet Natured

Shaggy (Gabite) lv 33 - Quirky Natured

Gus (Marshtomp) lv 28 - Relaxed Natured

Egg (?)

Saggecko (Scraggy) lv 16 - Bold Natured

Time to shine!

The bros and I decided to take a bit of a break from training and rest up until the night time hit. I always have more fun traversing the forests at night. There’s always a cooling breeze and a real ominous vibe that creeps around the trees. Also, the stronger critters come around at night, I find. 

I would guess that I had only shut my eyes for around an hour when I got the penetrating feeling of being stared down. I slowly reached around for a rock while keeping the illusion that I was completely oblivious to my observer. I heard the pitter-patter of foot-steps and feral breathing come within range. I wrapped my fingers around a fallen twig, and with one motion, rolling into a vicious swat, smacking the critter.

It was a Pansear. The little fire monkey leapt back and scoffed. 

"Ah, a fighter I see." The little monkey cupped its hand around its ear as if it couldn’t hear me. 

"Bleh, I’m not waking up the guys for this. LET’S ROCK!" I charged the little guy with my twig posing as my katana. The Pansear was quite the acrobat, ably dodging several of my quickest strikes. I switched my stance and tossed my twig to my right hand, readying my defense. The Pansear came in heavy with Fury Swipes. I deflected the flurry but noticed something off. This Pansear was blue now.

"The old substitution trick, eh?" The little Panpour was pushing me back with its assualt. Unfortunately, I was barefoot and felt the grass acting strange beneath my feet. I changed my stance and dug my heel into the Grass Knot aimed to trip me up. I caught the blue monkey with a swift downward strike to the face between it’s rhythmic scratches.

"Mr. Green has to be around here somewhere." I used my ears to focus on the surroundings while my eyes stayed on the recovered Panpour. The sun’s light bathed our verdant battlefield with amber and sepia tones.

I came to realize that moving for an offensive follow up would be a bad idea. The grass-type of the trio would keep using Grass Knot to create an opening for the physically talented Panpour. Before I had the chance to scheme some trickery, I felt the air temperature increase on my right side. I instinctively ducked down and let the fireball crackle over head.

"Blue is physical, Red is Special, and Green is Control." I said to myself. I took this time to charge Panpour with a leap to avoid the moving grass. I threw the stick at it while at the apex of my jump. The Panpour jumped out of the way but was now on the defensive against my rapid fire kicking. It wasn’t as fast as its red teammate and took a few hits before tagging out. Mr. Red went back to dodging at its leisure. I pushed it back only a few feet, keeping my strikes high until it got tangled in the Grass Knot. It’s face was priceless. I kicked a pokeball into it’s face and caught its vengeful blue partner with a flying side kick as it lept from the bushes. It also received a pokeball to the face.

The forest was quiet. I knew I had heard a third party member. A breeze rustled the leaves.

"Damn, it’s using the wind to mask it’s movement." I scooped up the two pokeballs and remained focused. A stronger burst of wind hit the forest and kicked up some of the fallen leaves. Thank the sun, the monkey failed to realize its shadow. I jumped over it’s sliding sweep kick and landed on my hands. I rotated fluidly and drove my heel into its face. It didn’t even have a chance to hit the ground before I continued my motion into a standing position and kicked a pokeball.

"Sweet beans! All three of them!" I cracked open my PokeDex and beamed them back to my home base. I walked back over to my bros who were awake and cheering me on, except Satan, of course. Gus was holding my egg for me.

"Well, I guess you guys got to see how I battle." The sky was a dark purple and the chilling night winds starting to snake around the trunks of the trees. The last few traces of light were fading and we made our way through the wood.

Roster Summary:

Satan (Servine) lv32 - Quiet Natured

Shaggy (Gabite) lv 30 - Quirky Natured

Gus (Marshtomp) lv 25 - Relaxed Natured

Egg (?)

Rainy Day

I had a plan to explore the town before my gym match, but the weather decided to make changes. I headed straight to the museum that hid the gym.

"Welcome to the—-"

"Nah, nah. I need the leader. I am ready for my badge." 

"Straight through to the back." I followed the directions and found myself in some kind of library. I hate books.

"Just read the books for hints to reach the leader."

"Read? Screw that. Gus, time to shine." I released Gus into the room and he squirmed around a bit before scuttling to a corner. He relieved himself on many of the books. One of the shelves shook and slid across the room revealing a stair case. Lenora sprinted full speed toward Gus. I recalled him before she could get too close.

"You ready for this match?" I yelled.

"You little prick!" She stomped back down the steps. I followed.

She revealed all of her Pokemon to me: a Sawsbuck, a Stoutland, a Cinccino, and a Watchog. The Watchog caught my eye. It was a huge Patrat.

"I didn’t think anyone here would be careless enough to use a Grass-type against me." I said. I released Satan with a swift kick to the pokeball. She decided to begin with Cinccino.

The thought of that damn Watchog filled my heart with the darkest kind of rage. Satan was enjoying my display of anger. Lenora was babbling on about something but I was too busy being delicious to pay attention.

Satan ran the show with Leaf Storm after Leaf Storm. We left the whole room in complete destruction. I left with one more badge than I had entered with and the world had one less Watchog to terrorize it.

I decided to skip the follow up visit to the Pokemon Center and went straight out of the city to the Pinwheel Forest.

"Finally, a chance to see some grass-types."

Roster Summary: 

Satan (Servine) lv32 - Quiet Nature

Shaggy (Gabite) lv30 - Quirky Nature

Gus (Marshtomp) lv 25 - Relaxed Nature

Egg (?)

R. Kelly Style

Route 3 was rather winding. There was a preschool along the route. The day care couple let the little one’s play with the new baby Pokemon.

"Hey! Young man! You look a strong trainer. Would you mind taking this egg?" I walked to the old man with some reservation. I figured there would be a catch. He handed me a silver egg with some red lines along the sides. It was rather heavy.

"Ok, I’ll take this. But if anything crazy happens, you’ll feel my full wrath." I slid the egg into my backpack and continued my onward journey to Nacrene City. My team was growing powerful very quickly. Shaggy’s coordination was battle ready. Personality-wise, he seemed to have matured as well. I shifted his training to mastering the powerful dragon attacks Outrage and Draco Meteor.

Satan’s training went a completely new direction since his ability thrives on negative effects. Basic attack practice left the whole area in disarray. It was clear that Satan would become the primary attacker of my team. His damage output was off the charts. 

Gus stayed consistent. Along with his attack practice, he spent a lot of his time swimming and jogging to keep his endurance high. Through a random encounter with some Pidove, I found that Gus could use the Stealth Rock technique. This prompted me to get him used to the idea of leading my team’s charge into battle.

"Okay boys, the next gym leader likes Normal-types. Satan, you’ve got this one in the bag." Satan nodded.

"Okay, Shaggy and Gus. You guys will spar. Satan and I will referee. If it gets too heated, Satan and I will jump in with great love and justice." Satan scoffed and jumped with haste onto a tree branch. I smiled and commanded the spar to begin.

We finally reached the gates of Nacrene as the stars glinted in the sky. The air was cool and still. Without the trees moving, there was a pleasant silence. The boys were all sleep in their pokeballs when I finally reached the Pokemon Center. I left them with the nurse and walked to the market.

"My, you are up late! What’s the occasion?" The clerk had an accent that didn’t fit the area.

"I am just buying supplies. I am going to face the leader tomorrow after I finish up some last minute training exercises."

"Ah! You know, Lenora likes those Normal-types a whole lot. I reckon with some fighting style attacks, you’d win for sure!"

"Thanks for the advice but I don’t have any fighting-type Pokemon at the moment. I think my Servine should be tough enough to handle it, though."

"Well, shoot, if you keep spending money like this, there is no way you could be a push over trainer!" I paid the man and walked back to the lobby of the hospital. I sat by a window and listening to the faint music playing over a very worn down intercom system. I watched moon-lit clouds slowly crawl the length of the sky. I started to doze off when a nurse’s shriek jarred me from my seat.

I burst through the employee only door and found Gus in the hallway peeing on what he thought was a bed pan. It was actually a container that held specially medicated moist towels. I snatched Gus into the air and hung my head in embarrassment while taking him with me into the lobby.

"Just hold it until you are outside, bud." Gus smiled and yawned. The both of us quickly fell asleep. Gus was my pillow and the egg was in my arms. I hoped the warmth would speed up the hatching process.

Roster Summary

Satan (Servine) lv 30 - Quiet Nature

Shaggy (Gabite) lv 29 - Quirky Nature

Gus (Marshtomp) lv 23 - Relaxed Nature

Egg (?)

It is time…

Making it to Striaton City was enough of a challenge so I wasn’t particularly interested in seeking out the well disguised league gym. A local directed me to some vintage restaurant and I finally caught the tiny advertisements for league challenges. 

I walked through the doors and was kindly greeted by the hostess. She told me to sign the challenge book, fill out the survey, then enjoy a meal while I wait on my time to battle. I followed her instructions and tore into the provided breadsticks. All the youngsters I faced left me tight in the pockets after I bought my share of pokeballs and medical supplies.

"Mister Josh? We are ready for your challenge." A young man said. These workers looked super official in their uniforms. I was feeling pretty under-dressed in my hiking jeans and t-shirt. It all changed when I saw the battle field. It was a standard mountainous-type terrain. I expected either fighting or fire-types from the leader.

A man with spiky red hair in the style of flames stood across from me in the same butler-style dress as the man who led me in.

"I am Chili. We’ll use two Pokemon a piece! From what it sounds like, you chose to begin your journey with Snivy, so your introduction to the Unova Leage will be a Fire-type Gym! Let’s begin!" He tossed his pokeball and out popped a Herdier. The fact that it was a Normal-type had me a little confused but I went along with it.

Before our, challenge, I spent some time bringing Gus up to speed with the rest of the party. Now, this was his time to finally prove his worth. I kicked his pokemon and his took to the field.

"A Marshtomp!? Those aren’t native to here! You must have had a pretty lucky break obtaining that guy! Herdier! Take down!"

"Hey Gus, keep that guy guessing, keep on the dodging." Gus deftly slid his way around the dog Pokemon’s charging with cartwheels and rolls. Herdier’s panting increased and his charging slowed down significantly. Gus showed signs of fatigue as well. 

"That is a really fast moving Pokemon, but both our Pokemon are tired now. It’s going to come down to one last attack! Take Down, Herdier!" 

"One attack choice will indeed decide this round. Get some sleep, Gus!" Gus calmly curled up and fell promptly to sleep, rapidly refreshing himself. Herdier, with all of its remaining strength, slammed in Gus at full force but the Marshstomp remained unmoved by the impact. Herdier’s limbs were shaking and the dog seemed dazed from the failed attack.

"Gus has unnaturally high stamina. I taught him to waste all his energy on high speed dodging. Once I get the opponent nice and tired, I put the little guy to sleep. His bulk keeps him safe until he is good to wake up."

"Well, he’ll have to wake up before he can attack. Herdier will have recovered a bit, in that time."

"Who said I needed to wait to attack? Some Pokemon have habits worse than farting in their sleep, mate. Gus, get to the sleep talking." Gus started babbling around and rolled to a zombie-like upright stance. All at once, he fired a powerful stream of water into the Herdier, knocking it out.

"Whoa! I heard you were a Frontier Head but I didn’t think you’d be this tough." Chili threw his last Pokemon to the field. His Simisear looked very well trained. This was it. While Gus was busy resting up, I let Satan take the stage.

"A grass-type against a fire-type? Looks like this round will go to me!" Chili’s Simisear started by throwing a barrage of Fury Swipes. Satan quietly moved like silk, dodging each blow with a mocking arrogance. 

"Simisear! Fire Blast!"

"Satan, Leaf Storm!"

Simisear’s huge wall of flame got caught up in the spiraling whirlwind of leaves generated from Satan’s tail. The tornado enveloped Simisear and trapped in a vortex of constant damage. After the wind dispersed, Simisear stood shaking from fatigue.

"That is a tough little guy. It is surprising how few fire Pokemon can take a hit like that."

"Thanks, but you’ve ensured my victory. After using a move like that, Servine’s power is weakened for a long time!" Simisear got itselfed worked back up and took back to the fight with another onslaught of fury swipes. Satan dodged with even more ease than the time before.

"Get it with Slam!" Satan dodged one last time and maneuvered into a front-flip, furiously swinging his tail.

"FIRE BLAST!"

"Crap!" Satan miraculously cancelled the attack and fired another Leaf Storm. The size of this particular attack was even greater than the time before. Everything in the room was getting sucked into the attack. Simisear tried to take the attack but it’s flame were extinguished from the violent storm. The monkey was swept into a wall and leaves had a good grind against him.

"No way!"

"This is…amazing." Satan gingerly walked its way back to my side of the field and turned to face any new challenges from Chili. It was the first time I noticed a sinister twinkle in his eyes. Satan had a dark aura around him that help me put all the pieces together.

"How could that have been possible!?"

"Satan’s a special breed. Rather than the Overgrow ability, this Servine has an ability called Contrary. Whenever something would be done to him that would lower his abilities, they are instead risen. The opposite is true, also. That first Leaf Storm greatly increased my snake’s power rather than weakening it.

Chili sulked and tossed my Trio Badge. It was still later afternoon when I left. I took a trip to the Dreamyard to work with my crew in preparation for my next gym challenge, Lenora the Normal-type specialist.

Roster summary:

Satan (Servine) lv26 - Quiet Nature

Shaggy (Gabite) lv26 - Quirky Nature

Gus (Marshtomp) lv18  - Relaxed Nature

Patrat…

After a smooth night of sleeping, the four of us decided to get a rather late start. We left the boring wonderland of Accumula Town, moving through Route 2. It was late afternoon and the cooling autumn wind was a nice compliment to the warm sun starting its decent toward the horizon. My phone’s vibrate was set to hella loud but, by the time I heard it, I felt I may have gotten a rash from it seizing in my pocket.

"Cedric! My saucy frenchman!" Cedric was the current director of research at the Battle Factory, making him my fellow Frontier Head.

"Hey, dirt bag. How is Unova treating you?" He had a subtle French flair to his speech.

"Boring as sin."

"Sounds like you really love the place."

"What’s the occasion, AP Euro?"

"I want your body…"

"If you want my body, and you think I’m sexy, you gotta pay off my student loans!"

"Always ready for song and dance, haha. Well, I’ve heard rumors of some instability in the political arena there after all that Plasma business—-"

"WOO! Hate to cut this short but I just made eye contact with a real douche and he is mad horny for a battle." I slid my phone back into my pocket and popped Satan’s pokeball down to my feet.

"Hey! Are you a trainer?" The kid was super annoying. I hate backwards hats. He threw his pokeball like any boyscout and out came a Patrat.

"Yeah, get into it." I kicked my pokeball and Satan descended on his Patrat. With that the battle started.

Now, to his credit, this kid was the lamest thing since Magikarp porn. I hate a lot of things: fake tans, Taylor Swift, onions. When it comes to the Pokemon world, though, I hate two things more than all else. Those two are Furries and Youngsters. The level of disdain I have for Youngsters is only quantified by the number of hairs on a gang of Bouffalant. Their shorts, their stupid backwards hats, their genital itch for random battles with adults. And they won’t back down. I am a Frontier Head and these kids attack like I am the neighborhood ice cream truck with their endless Patrats. 

Worse than anything else, they have no money. I have to use the money I get from battles to feed myself and my bros. A youngster’s wallet consists of fifty-cent pieces and some Yugioh cards. You can’t by food with those.

One day, I will exterminate them.

At any rate, Satan had already won with a single half-hearted Hidden Power. After a display of glowing eyes, the Patrat was served charred and crispy. I laughed at the kid and pushed onward. The sun finally ducked behind the tree line, making my forward progression easier to see. To my horror, my path was riddled with countless Youngsters and Lasses…and their Patrats…

"….FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

Roster Summary:

Satan (Servine) lv 18 - Quiet Nature

Shaggy (Gabite) lv 25 - Quirky Nature

Gus (Mudkip) lv10 - Relaxed Nature

Hilariously

**Unknown to Josh or his Pokemon, a shipment of around 100 Mudkip from the Hoenn region were on their way to a festival in Nimbasa City for the lulz. Their documented reasoning for the shipment at the time was that they “leiked mudkipz.” After some random near-death event involving a green haired kid and a high speed dragon thing, the shipment of Mudkips was lost into the Unova wilderness**

After finally reaching the town of Nuvema, I decided to see what the local professor was into researching. As I walked in, I was greeted by some woman who happened to BE the legitimate professor. I wondered how she could do research outside of the kitchen but upon further inspection, her lab and kitchen are connected by a hallway.

I left quickly because she started talking about love and touching or something. It was northward to Accumula Town. I took the scenic route to give Satan some time to grow stronger.

"Listen, Sats, I have to get this Gabite less goofy footed. You go out and just slay stuff. If it gets hairy, fire a Leaf Storm and we’ll swoop in and rescue you with great justice and love." Satan smirked and vanished into the bushes.

After around 8 hours of hiking, the gates of Accumula were in sight. The sky was beginning to change from clear blue to some orange and purple hues.

"Okay, Shaggy, use another Swords Dance." I was sitting on a tree branch watching my Gabite clumsily move about with a spin. He tripped over his own foot and stumbled. 

"NOW EARTHQUAKE!" Shaggy slammed his foot down, both regaining his balance and wrecking the terrain. Satan shot out from a bush as it became surrounded by fissures.

"Well damn! You look a lot different there buddy! What are you holding?" Satan chucked a knocked out Mudkip to the ground beneath my branch. I dropped from the limb and poked at it. It yawned and woke up, looking completely refreshed.

"Why would you bring me this?" Satan looked annoyed with it.

"Ah. So this guy gave you a hell of a battle, eh? Looks like we’ll have a new teammate then." The little mudkip burped and nuzzled my hand.

"This kid looks like a Gus. We begin training immediately."

Roster Summary:

Satan (Servine) lv18 - Quiet nature

Shaggy (Gabite) lv25 - Quirky nature

Gus (Mudkip) lv5 - Relaxed nature

I woke one morning..

It was a pretty chill autumn day and the leaves did a cute little dance through the air before adding to the orange and red blanket that gently covered the moist ground.

After a good yawn, I darted to my window and abruptly slid it open. With a resounding roar, I yelled,”TIME FOR UNOVA!”

After a thorough showering experience and some “quality” time grooming, I kicked the front door nearly off the frame and skipped along the beaten path to my barn acres. A few of my veteran teammates were already awake and corralling the younger trainees. One of the trainees, a young Snivy, sprinted to my side.

"Sup, Satan? Time to head to the motherland." The Snivy had a malicious aura and normally just kept quiet all day. It was a nice break from Shaggy, my adolescent Gabite. Being the first born of my veteran Garchomp, Scooby II, and my hilariously skanky Ditto, Stemz, he was a natural fighter. Unfortunately, he evolved faster than his mind could keep pace with so he had a struggle with getting used to his new size and power. 

Satan was a strange little guy, though. You never knew where you stood with him, emotionally. He had natural leadership qualities but his lineage was a mystery. I obtained him from some spooky battle a month prior. He parents must have been something else because knew how to Leaf Storm and Hidden Power, with ease, from birth.

"Listen up, you two are coming with me on this glorious adventure through Unova. We will conquer the gyms within a month. No exceptions.” Shaggy flexed and Satan glared. 

"Damn right. Let’s ride." With those as my last words, I contained my two "starters" to their Pokeballs and left for my boat ride to slay the Unova region like a meaty pile of buffalo wings made crispy with a light Caribbean jerk glaze. 

Roster Summary: 

Satan (Snivy) lv. 3 - Quiet, Male

Shaggy (Gabite) lv. 25 - Quirky, Male